It's time to make a change.
When I look in the mirror, I am absolutely disgusted. With my body, with my mind, with my spirit, with myself. I am so unhappy, it makes me ill.
I used to be different. I used to be healthy and have friends and go places and do things. Now? Notsomuch.
I am a hermit. I'm always home. I don't get up and dress up anymore. I used to never go anywhere without makeup on and now I barely brush my hair. I live my life dreading seeing anyone I know because I don't want them to see how far I've fallen down the rabbit hole.
So I'm ready to make a change. I want to be healthy again. I want to exercise. I want to have friends again. I want to go to church again. I don't want to be embarrassed to be seen. I don't have an entire plan together yet, but that is my New Year's Resolution.. To take my non-existent, pathetic life and turn it into something I'm proud of.
These are the things I want to work on: Health/Fitness, Emotional Health, Social Life and Spiritual Life. Like I said, I haven't exactly figured out how I am going to work on these things yet but that's OK. I think just identifying what I want to work on is a big step. I plan to make a list of goals sometime in the next few days to get started, and I plan to use this to document my journey. I want something to be accountable to and also something I can use to look back on and track my progress. I also want a place to let out my dorky thoughts and crazy rantings!
So welcome to my journey. I'm starting at rock bottom and so looking forward to the climb back up.